what a week....

haven't been on in several days so didn't get a chance to update lately. ok, lets see... July 30 was mom's birthday, she turned 61. I didn't get to go see her like I wanted but I will soon. Tuesday we had awards at school, I got a 4.0 dean's list certificate for having straight A's last quarter, no A-'s so that was really good feeling. Mom just got transferred now to an acute care center in Greenwood so she's closer thankfully. Tonight I cut Brody's hair. He'd talked of a mohawk so thats what I gave him. lol.

update of the last few days

Well, the doctors found out that mom couldn't breathe without the vent tube in cause her throat was either swelled up or something in there blocking it. They put the tube back in & she was able to breathe on her own cause the tube held her air passage open. So they put a trach in & she came through that with flying colors. Other then wanting to get out of bed now since she's sitting propped up in bed more (& giving a guilt trip & tears when you don't lower the railing) then she's doing incredible. Monday morning they're going to transfer her to a rehab/assisted living place over in Greenwood. That'll be so nice to have her out of ICU. We got special permission to take Brody & Tia in to see her the other day (Thursday) and they were thrilled with the idea. Tia gave mom a kiss on the cheek when we first got in the room but was scared to touch her otherwise. Brody was so upset by seeing her like that, poor thing was crying & hiding behind me. He was saying that the dr's cutting her throat like that was gonna make her die. I felt so bad for them so we only had them back there about 2 or 3 minutes. The kids are calmed down again now but just saying they want to wait til mom's in a regular room before seeing her again.

back to the grindstone

its Monday morning and we're fittin to head on up to Indy for the day again. Before school though I wanted to post an update & couple pics from yesterday. We went & visited with mom for a few minutes yesterday afternoon before I took Tony back to work and he took a pic of her. She's looking so much better then from the other day.


This is the sun bursting through the bottom of the clouds after a thunderstorm finished just as we got to Cincinnati to drop him off last night:

the ongoing saga of adoption

all the bolded ones are his emails to me, the italics are mine back to him. I'm just so tired of all the drama & bs. I know the easiest way would be just to get the papers done & over with but I keep thinking in the back of mind that maybe he'll wake up & realize what he's doing

June 17:
I was wondering what the verdict is on the papers you were waiting for from the lawyer? and i know you have been redoing house due to storm but was just wondering?

June 26:
Hey was just wondering if you have heard any more, and hope is going well that way.
July 16:
(I forgot to blind copy my reply to him back to myself so I'd have it on record but basically told him I'm sick & tired of him wasting energy IM'ing me when I have more important priorities in life then worrying about his bills, like worrying if my mama in law is gonna survive from day to day)

Ok first of all you dont have to sound so HATEFUL i just asked you a simple question because you told me that you were going to do it , and the reason why i ask you to do it is because you are the one with all the money and also i have had to put all of my money right now in to dr bills due to finding out i am diabetic and the medication isnt cheap as if it were any of your business any how,We are sorry to hear about your mother-in-law but that is no reason for you to jump on me and once i do get the money if i do i will do it, unless you change your mind and still do it (the papers). We just simply needed to know because some times you forget to get ahold of us.And also why couldnt you just drop the case, you cant say that you cant because we have recieved that letter from them and they say as long as you are not on any kind of public assistance then you can. Its not the fact we are trying to have you worry about our bills we are just telling you how it is and you dont have to treat any one that way no matter how pissed or how mad you are at them.Excuse us all to hell for trying to live!!!

July 16:
I have looked online and have found out that you have to do it because tony would be the one that is adopting them, but anyhow i have found a site that you can do it yourself and then file the papers with the courts here is the link if you are gouing to do it http://www.myshoppingonline.com/LegalKits/adoption.htm
July 16:
I had spoke with this company and they were for Indiana and i asked questions about Tony adopting them and they said that if he wants to adopt them then you 2 need to do the paper work and then they would send us the paper work to sign and then just you and Tony and the kids would have to go to court so if you want to still do this let me know I just want to get this done and over.

http://www.myadoptionforms.com/ld/step_parent_adoption/indiana.html?Google-IN-Step-Parent-Adoption-CP

(my reply to that last one:
I looked at the links you sent and am completely willing to sign any papers needed but I'm not paying for it, thats too much money for us to come up with for an extra bill. and no, I'm not being hateful as that requires too much energy. I just don't feel like it does any good to bite my tongue around you so I didn't bother this time. I don't say it to be hurtful or mean, just saying it as I saw it. )

well what about the ones that i sent you to do it ourselves and is all we have to do is send them into the courts for $27.95? But like i told you in the one email i spoke to a lawyer and they said that if Tony wants to adopt them that you would have to do the papers on your side? and i sign the one giving up parental rights.and then you take it into the clerk of courts and then they will give you a court date and the only ones that need to be there is you and Tony and the kids.

This is the one for $9.95 http://www.visual-mp3.com/review/464.html
and this one is for $27.97 http://www.myshoppingonline.com/LegalKits/adoption.htm

(I told him on that last one that the $10 one is for California, not Indiana)

It really gets me how he can be so insistent on getting rid of his kids. He's been demanding me for the past several months to go file adoption papers so he can give up all parental rights to the children. All because he doesn't want to pay $139 a week for the 2 kids.

part B for the day

I went to the hospital to see mom after I'd picked the kids up when I got out of school. Tony's been there all day so he stayed in the CCU waiting room with the kids while I went in to set with mom for a bit. As long as one of us is in there with her then they take the straps off her wrists but if no one's in the room they have to keep her wrists strapped loosely cause she keeps trying to pull out the vent & feeding tubes from her throat. She also likes to chew on them so thankfully they're made of flexible plastic :) Anyways I was setting there with her today & she was a lot more responsive then she's been before now.She kept reaching for my second hand when I'd hold her hand & then pull with both of her hands & lift her shoulders a bit off the bed like she was trying to get me to help set her up. I kinda laughed then told her if she kept it up I was gonna set down in that chair by the bed. She did it again so I set down & only held the one hand. She somehow managed to pick up the pillow along her side enough to smack me in the face with it. lmao. I just laughed about it. I'm so glad to see her being feisty & showing signs of her real self still in there.

just another day in paradise...

Mom had her echo done on her heart this morning, results are in. She's got 2 leaky valves but the heart specialist said those are not to worry about. They're next going to look into her lungs, see whats going on, why she can't breathe on her own really yet. When I was there yesterday then they had her ventilator set at 12/minute but her total was only 15 or 16 a minute. They said they're going to try taking her off of it again but that they're working on weaning her off it a bit at a time.

School's going ok, just been real quiet lately. I'm ahead in CPU & dosage calculations so mainly just focusing on pathology & insurance classes.

update from yesterday

well, they took her vent tube out yesterday afternoon (Tuesday) but she wasn't able to breathe well enough on her own so I drove back out to Cincinnati to go get Tony again so he could be in town to see her. We had all agreed that it'd be better in a way for Missy to sign the papers to not revent her but in the end none of us could stay with it & she told them to put it back in her. She's sedated again as of yesterday evening. I dropped off Tony at the hospital this morning after dropping off the kids at Brandy's. After I get out of school today then I'm gonna pick up the kids then head up there too.

This is mom & Missy, taken July 4:

say prayers to whichever gods yall believe in please?

They just took mom's ventilator tube out about 20 minutes ago. I'm in school right now but Missy's there, my sister in law, and I just talked to her on the phone. She said they're telling her the next 24 - 48 hrs are the most crucial. She said mom's not doing too good in a way cause she's having trouble coughing up the phlegm in her throat. I'm really nervous/scared/worried and am going up there after I get out of school. Missy & I are going to take turns sitting in the room with her so that one of us can watch her at all times.

just another day

Well, Tony's back at work again.... I took him to Cincinnati yesterday evening, after seeing mom for a bit first. She's looking a little better, her colors improving. She's down to 55% oxygen so thats a really good thing. at first, she had been up to 100% then 80%. The ventilator is set at 18 breaths/minute for her but when we were in the room yesterday with her, she kept peaking at 25-29 breaths/min and making the machine beep at her.
Wishard on Saturday had a uniform sale going on over in the cafeteria so I went in there. I found 2 pairs of the navy blue pants I have to wear for school, Dickies brand so I know they'll last longer then those tissue-paper ones they give us at school, for $15 & $16. I also got a scrub top that has the psycho bunny on it and says " reduce global warming, buy me ice cream" then got a stethescope and name badge for it. Now I won't have to worry about getting one for clinicals when the time comes. I love looking through the scrub sales like that, I thought about getting another jacket but don't need one since its hot outside & the classrooms really aren't that cold most days. I just like seeing the different patterns they have available.

talk about a rollercoaster lately

There's been so much going on that I haven't known what direction I've been facing in some days, much less posting on here.

In school, all's going well. I'm not too impressed with a couple classes, dosage calculation & basic insurance. Dosage Calc is a self paced class which means they hand you the book & say ok, here you go. I do the work on my own & take the tests when I feel I'm ready. I REALLY don't like that idea for a math class. Basic Insurance is just boring as anything. I love Ms. Mary Ann, the teacher, but its just a very boring class.

We have my 2 nieces staying with us also. I've raised all 4 of my sister's kids about half the time and for the past week then the 2 girls have been staying with us while my sister & her husband are trying to get on their feet. I love the kids to death so don't mind but it does make for an interesting day at times.

The main thing on my mind lately is that sometime last weekend my mom in law had a heart attack but didn't tell anyone. She was scheduled to get released from the nursing home on the 25th of this month so we think she didn't say anything cause of wanting to still get out. She'd told her friend in there, another resident, that her chest hurt a bit but thats all. Since Tuesday, she's been in the Critical Care Unit, on life support to keep her breathing since she can't do it on her own. The heart attack stopped her heart from pumping blood throughout her body so the blood backed up into her lungs, which made it so she couldn't breathe. She's slowly getting improvements, still on the ventilator, but her heartrate is almost in the normal range & her kidneys are trying to work again. Right now they can't do kidney dialysis cause her heart's too weak to survive it and they can't do a cath test on her heart to see how best to fix it cause the dye they use for that is toxic to your kidneys and hers are already too weak to survive that. So for the most part right now its a waiting game. They're keeping her sedated right now cause she still wants to try getting out of bed but she's able to recognize us when she's not sound asleep so thats a huge improvement.

Here's a picture I took of her:

I'm on the Dean's list & for once its a good thing... lol

we had an awards day at school today, got the awards for last quarter. I already knew I had gotten an overall GPA of 3.87 but I got a certificate today, felt so good to see it in writing & know that I did that on my own.

there's some days when I really wonder what I'm doing, if I'm overloading myself, if I'll really be able to keep up with the kids, house, work, school, homework, bills, marriage & myself but days like today when I see my accomplishments in black & white like that just feels so good

family pictures from Dec 2007

I've uploaded the yearly family pictures from Dec 2007 into my photobucket account. here's the link, feel free to save/print out if yall want :)







these are our yearly family photos...


I'll load the rest later since its about time for classes to start :)